DEBUNTZUH

this week was possibly one of the greatest weeks of my life - but let's face it. every spring break in college has been.
Antioch's College Ministry takes a mission trip for spring break every year, most recently to Edinburg, Texas. And yes, the trip is life-changing but all credit goes to God on why it is so. Living out the book of Acts allows God to fall on a city such as Edinburg in a POWERFUL way. So powerful that you can feel it. My favorite stories are from locals saying they can feel a difference in the week we're there...not by any of our own doing...but by God coming and loving on these people in a tangible way through us.

Here are some things I learned this past week.

"What will happen if we left this week with no regrets?" - Jake Griffin
Talk about setting a tone for the week. This statement challenged, me, my time and the whole college ministry to finish strong - live a life with no regrets and immediately broke off my fear of man. What would happen if i lived my LIFE with no regrets?

"What you believe about God in your weakest moment defines what your future will be." - Carl Gulley
GWC (good word Carl). God, what do I believe about you in my weakest moment? Where does my faith go when I'm weakest? The thing is, He's the only consistent thing in this world - never changing, not even for a second. At my weakest, when things aren't the best, He is still the SAME God...So I better start changing my thought life when I'm weak. The lies and tricks of the enemy come back VOID!

"Ask for things specifically and in faith, actually believing I'll give them to you." - God.
I love when God speaks. The first seminar day, He spoke this to me, revealing how I don't usually do this. My faith increased this week, seeing how more of it brings things I never expected to receive. My Father LOVES to give me good gifts! And He loves to hear me ask for them!

"Before God, I'm a royal priesthood. Before man, I'm a servant. And before the powers of darkness, I'm a ruler and will not tolerate ANY of it!" -Laura Seibert/Blair Gulley
My identity rests in what He says about me, not what I feel or what happens to me. I am secure knowing I am royalty. I should act how royalty would act - not with arrogance but with authority and humility.

"When I ask, God gives, whether I feel anything or not. But I keep pursuing until I have a Biblical experience." -Jimmy Seibert
How hungry am I? How faithful is God? When has He ever NOT proved His faithfulness in my life? He is more than an emotional feeling.

"What if you actually acted like Me, the God of the Universe, lived inside of you?" - God
I keep getting this picture of this GINORMOUS God crammed inside of little 5'3" me. What if that's how I actually lived my life out? Knowing that that authority and power was in me. How much more confidence would my life show?

"The road from foolishness to holiness to humility to intimacy/impact will actually cost something." - Jimmy Seibert
If it didn't cost me anything, I'd be missing something.

(Regarding music/movies) "If He wouldn't play it next to the cross, why would you play it in your house?" -Jimmy Seibert
This is when it finally clicked for me. I've heard holiness sermons but this was a powerful image. I want to by holy. So I want to absorb things uplifting. Why would I bother with things that caused me to stumble, think bad about others or myself? Everything I do should be edifying to God.

"A desperate heart is a privileged place." - The Bueschers
This is the place where God comes running. This is the place where intimacy with God is developed. But in our desperation we MUST turn to Him. He's the only one who knows how to fill it. If your heart is empty, it's going to attract the enemy as well. It's important to be aware of the enemy's attempts as well as seek God with everything you have.

God is consistent. I will never be replaced. And I cannot be duplicated.

The Kingdom MUST be known and the body MUST be built up.

"Parents are impressed by faithfulness and humility more than passion and testimony." -Drew Steadman
Amen. I need to live this out IMMEDIATELY.

God's love for me is intoxicating and all-encompassing. It never let's go. It's entirely unique. It's unlike the love He has for anyone else; not better or worse, just completely unique.

"In weak and alone moments, you have to know the treasure is worth more." -Drew Steadman
I cannot express how many times I have had weak and alone moments and haven't been convinced the treasure is worth more. That's how sin cycles start. There's a lot of convincing and "little allowances" that take place instead of focusing my eyes on the end prize and the big picture. But there's one thing I know for sure and this is also how I've changed in college: I'm more than confident that the end prize is worth the price.

should old acquaintances be forgot?

Happy New Years Eve.

2010 went by fast! Holy moley. But there were some absolutely fantastic memories along the way. Maybe if I keep this blog up for the rest of my life (yea right) and write down what happened each year...I'll actually be able to remember. I've started watching re-runs of How I Met Your Mother which I can't help but die laughing at every time I watch. It's narrated by a guy (Ted) who's telling his kids the story of how he met their mother. But let's face it, the shows been going on for about 5 years and he still hasn't revealed which character their mother is! (See?? totally sucks you in) Anyways, he specifically remembers what happened each year, and even can correct himself if he mixes the years up. How he does it is beyond me. YES I KNOW THIS IS JUST A SITCOM! Maybe he had a blog?

Lifegroup

A year ago exactly I was joining in on Wes and Sarah's lifegroup. This meant leaving the freshmen one I was leading with Kaitlyn and Kyle and walking into one I had never been to before that also contained mostly male members. AND the majority of the people were older than me. I was TERRIFIED. I didn't know anyone except Wes and Sarah, how was I going to bond with all these KOTs? And what right did I have to lead people older than me? Lord, what were you doing? Words cannot express my nerves on the night of that first lifegroup.

But He clearly had a plan much greater than my own and knew what He

was doing. This lifegroup has been one of the best things that's ever happened to me. I'm so proud to call it my own. These people have become my family. I have watched them grow and their passion for Jesus soar! God is doing crazy awesome things in them. My lifegroup has a passion for reaching people in Greek life, obedient and servant-like hearts, and are full of hunger to learnmore about the person of Jesus. It is so challenging to live life with them! (and in the best way!) Around April, we picked up another co-leader, Allen and it is SUCH a joy to lead with him. What a humble man of God! 2011 is going to be another huge year for our lifegroup.

Weddings (And engagements!)

It's been forever since I had been to a wedding but this year, I attended two. I know that doesn't seem like a lot, especially in comparison to what 2011, 2012, 2013...etc. will be like. But what I realized is how much FUN weddings are!

I'm so excited for the next few years of everyone around me getting married! It's like a giant party for all your closest friends! Dustin and Babs' wedding was one of my favorite parts of 2010. I loved getting a chance to see them go from just friends to dating to engagement to MARRIAGE! It was one of the sweetest things I've ever se

en to watch the exchange vows. I'm beyond excited for them still!

Getting to take pictures and film Kelsi and Jake's engagement was amazing. It was so sweet to get to witness the proposal!

My 20th Birthday

two words: Elite Eight. My mom had come up for the weekend to surprise me! After Olive Garden with my best friends and seeing How To Train Your Dragon, we all decided to impulsively buy tickets to the Elite Eight game in Houston to see the bears play. Best. Decision. Ever.

The Girl House

yes, we still have not come up with anything more creative than that. In August I moved into a house with 6 of my closest friends. Another best decision ever. I was nervous that living as a group of 7 would be extremely difficult and not fun at all. It has been the complete opposite. I love every second of living in that house! It is so much fun and has worked out so much better than I would've ever imagined!

My Baptism!

wow, I can't believe I left this one off of this!

Those are probably my favorite things from this past year. There have been so many others but I simply cannot fill up a blog short enough for them :)

Bring on 2011!

What Do I Know Of Holy?

Very little.

I'm seriously and very much human.

I'm currently listening to that song. "What Do I Know of Holy?" by Addison Road

I guess here's a list of the things that I do know of Holy, of my Jesus, of my Saving Grace.

_He saved me from the PIT of Hell.

_He loves me unconditionally

_He loves me better than any person on earth ever will

_He will never forget me

_He will never forsake me

_He will never overlook me

_He fights for me DAILY

_He calls me princess

_He calls me beautiful, adored, treasured and valued

_He leads me down paths of life

_He LOVES to hear me laugh and see me smile

_He cries when I cry

_I can't earn His love. It's already given. And there's an infinite supply of it.

_He wants to use me for His glory

_He wants to give me gifts!

_There's nothing about me that He doesn't know.

_If He created the UNIVERSE and all of it's intricate details, how much more exciting can He make the plans of my life if I hand them over to Him?

My Turn

I've been reading a certain blog lately that has given me insight into the male mind.

I've decided to return the favor.

Which brings the title of this entry (or the subject at least) to...

THINGS I WISH GUYS KNEW: (feel free to add to this list)

1. We REALLLLLY wish you were confident, but not cocky. And believe me, there is a difference. Be confident in who you are. If you like yourself and are confident in the man that God created you to be, there's a high chance we'll like you as well. Being cocky on the other hand is just plain annoying. No one wants to hear about how many girls you've been flirting with or even the snide comment of "Oh yea, she's totally into me." The second that sentence leaves a guy's mouth, he's lost me.

2. It doesn't matter how many promises you make if your actions don't back it up. (see my "lying" entry). For real. At least be a man of your word.

3. Don't ever talk about another girl's body around us. It doesn't matter if you're saying she's hot, fat, ugly, whatever. Just don't do it.

4. It is always better for you to make the first move. I really don't feel like an explanation is needed here. But for goodness sakes, don't make her wait till she's blue in the face.

5. Don't draw out our hearts. If you seriously have no intention of dating us, getting to know us better, whatever, please hold the flirtation. Oh and the texts asking if we want to study with you. Oh and those really long facebook chats. Those too. Because as much as you deny that you're oblivious to knowing if girls like you, you CAN tell if we're into you. So don't keep it going just to feed your ego.

6. Very few of us will ever understand your obsession with video games or your emotional attachment to sports' teams. But if you like it, and we like you, I guarantee you we'll try to like it as well.

7. We WILL overanalyze things, whether we admit it or not. The bottom line is, we just think about things a lot more than you do. Sometimes it's a good thing. And sometimes it's really not.

That's all I got so far.

Girls, anything you want guys to consider?

Guys, thoughts? complaints?

-court

Half full?

So I'm a junior.

In less than 2 years I'll have a real life job (maybe), or at least know what I'm doing with my life (hopefully).

weird.

I am currently living in a house with 6 other girls, which I'll admit I was pretty nervous about. I'm completely loving it though. The year has gotten off to a pretty good start, but I'm more anxious than anything.

It's amazing what a complete unknown my life is in right now. When you allow God to be completely in control of every single path in your life and let Him guide it as well as trust Him to do so, the excitement and expectancy you are able to live you life in is crazy. I think that's what I'm feeling right now. But maybe I should be more proactive. I feel like I'm waiting on a breakthrough, I'm waiting for God to reveal whatever it is I'm supposed to do next. And I'm excited but in case you know me, patience is not one of my strong suits. Like I told my roommate the other day, you can't expect God to just give you *said personality trait aka patience* unless he puts you in a situation to develop *said personality trait*.

I've loved getting to spend so much time with these women who I live with and getting to watch them grow. Not only am I totally opposite from who I was freshman year, but they are as well. They're even different than they were a year ago.

A year can change a lot. Six months can change a lot. Even a week can change a lot.

I'm growing.

I'm moving forward from this summer.

When I came to Baylor this year I was wallowing in how terrible my summer was and having no where to go but up. I didn't want to be a Debby Downer but I needed to vent. I was just waiting patiently for someone to just say "hey, tell me what's going on with you." But no one did.

That's when God showed up. Because He was the one who said it. After laying face down on the ground in my room and venting to Jesus about EVERYTHING in my life, I haven't turned back to wallow in those things again. He took it all, just like that. No human can do that. No one is capable. He literally took it all and hasn't put it on me again, because He DELIGHTS in relieving me of my pain. And that is INCREDIBLE. Because I have yet to meet a parent, friend, boy, teacher, etc. who not only CAN take away all my pain but ENJOYS every single bit of it.

The Lord is my portion and He gives me joy so extravagant that I will not much remember the days of my life. (Ecc. 5:20) PRAISE THE LORD

homesick

i miss waco.

I know, I never thought the day would come where I would actually say it out loud. But I miss waco. Not necessarily Texas...just waco.

being home isn't easy for me. It's not hard...it's just definitely not easy. the person I am now, the person i am in waco is someone so completely opposite of the person people knew me as here in brentwood. the high school me was lukewarm, passive, unsure of herself, insecure, needy, self-centered, and made fun of...a lot.

college was a fresh start. i had no image to live up to. people didn't know who i was in high school and i was free to be who i wanted with no former image or strings attached. and that's exactly what i did. I'm not saying im not any of those things listed above anymore. because I surely am. My flesh is not completely conquered but i've learned what it's like to walk in the spirit and to LIVE OUT being a Christian, a little Jesus. This means we have to be LIKE Jesus. Not just kinda like Him. But really try and strive to be like Him.

I feel as if most people have accepted that they will never be perfect and automatically give up on ever trying to be like the one perfect person to ever walk this planet. No one fully understands what it means to be like Jesus! or no one really wants to acknowledge what it means. That it means losing EVERYTHING. It means laying down your life DAILY. it means being uncomfortable and risking everything and not caring what others think about you. It means being willing to risk your life at any second for anyone. Putting others needs before your own, even people who you don't think deserve it. It's not cussing, watching porn, getting drunk, going too far with your boyfriend, talking about people, putting others down, back-talking your parents, or in any ways being friends with the world because THOSE AREN'T THINGS JESUS DID!!! And please don't say "it's okay, Jesus drank wine." okay totally different. do your research about the time period. it's not about seeing how much you can get away with. It's about trying to be as pure as He was. Not how much you can do before God takes back your salvation. But how much you can live in the kingdom.

And God did NOT call you to be lukewarm or passive. He DID call you to preach the gospel daily! He DID call you to be his BOLD disciple and to walk out in the SPIRIT daily. He called YOU to make disciples of all nations. Not the preacher, or the girl in your spanish class. but YOU.

Tagz

Let's just get straight to the point.

Common Courtesy #3:

Don't DETAG yourself in pictures.

like what the heck? really?

what's the point exactly?

Now I totally understand there are exceptions to this rule: sorority rules, being a member of something sometimes requires you to not have certain pictures of yourself on facebook. But let's be real, if you know you're just going to have to detag it why put yourself in the picture in the first place?

and can you please explain to me why there is a random detagging of the most random pictures lately? you look fine. this is how you look in real life. why in the world do you want to detag yourself?

my whole deal is when people detag because they think it's an ugly picture of themselves. Hellloooo, be honest with the world and admit to them (and yourself) that you don't always look perfect. and more importantly, don't HAVE to look perfect at all times.

heck, i'm not so sure I want to be friends with someone who looks perfect in every single facebook picture they have. at least let me know you're a real person. I mean c'mon.

that's my rant.

don't detag.

and if you have to, maybe you should start to reconsider getting in that picture with your red plastic cup.

just sayin.

court